For dreams that die...I keep my silence which is more stern than screams
What can I say? I am upset with everyone. How the distance between friends and foes has been reduced to a thin line. You were right. Friendship was one of those terms that's out of fashion now. And now it's meaningless to complain about lack of friendship?! I am just sad and I wished I knew how to cry. Guys, today I found out that there is another Ali Ajami around here and incidentally he is a Pan-Turkist. Since I despise every Pan...out there, make sure you do not misinterpret my words.
Not just me! I guess no one! is willing to re-consume what he or she has vomited already! Tell the Monarchists to go to hell and to not make me more miserable than I already am.
I am sure if you are well off, you will be laughing inside...dammit! life is just something else for me!
The opposition right wing should probably say hurray to Karroubi because after seven months he has realized that the Leader has approved the election results. Karoubi almost went against mine and my roommates predictions but the "brave sheikh" was just a mirage that just went up in smoke...we are waiting for the third wave...and the next...until it gets to be the turn of those who have nothing to lose but their chains...The last scene will be played by the workers...rise up you damned pain!
We rang the door bell of the Islamic Republic and then ran away! May be we woke them up and they swore at us...and this was our struggle for freedom...and now that people took to the streets and have woken the monster turning it into a nightmare, we have fallen asleep behind our computers.
News came that another one of our guys cut his wrist and is now at Khomeini hospital under surgery. He had called me ten times last night and my phone battery was dead so I couldn't call him back. They say that if cases like this reach the hospital, they will survive.
Guys! have you seen the barbaric attack by security vehicles where a human being gets trampled? I am reminded of last year and the anti riot vehicles at Tian square and Roger Water's Yellow Rose song: "we were staring at the t.v." This is what we are doing, despite the fact that pain is raining on us non-stop. I am not sure why I have closed my umbrella even though I have no excuse for doing so. I envy girls because they are able to cry at an instant.
Guys! I have received an invitation! guess from who! "The Society of Tehran's Professional Think Tanks"...What could they be thinking about so professionally???????
Three years ago at night time a discussion broke out in the dormitory. I was hotly debating the need to globalize the struggle. My friend hopelessly told me: We will all pass and we will never see that day! I yelled at him saying: I will not die until I see that day. That night I was only bluffing but I am still alive and there is a dust bowl arriving...do you think this rider has good news for us?????
Friends, even though the only thing that's not important to me these days is my birth date, but I thank you all for congratulating me. In the absence of the leftists, things are turning into anarchism; something like "May 67 and Dreamers". I really cannot hide my happiness for being alive...allright enough of talking about death...I am sorry they died but what's our share? the living? just that we are alive????
The responses are all fake. The question still remains of our youth, blood and wasted lives. Love comes alive within questions and dies within answers. Still for escaping the misery of life, I ask questions. Questions always carry flowers that await responses. Questions are still our fighters...my friend, the answers are full of cheats...
In the city of lies and deceptions, how richly life passes us by and this is the only thing that the citizens of this land are honest about...tell the ducks to let me free...the waves have swept away the sea shells...my thoughts are with the sea...this is the only place in the world where they tear apart a live human being for the crime of tearing up the picture of a dead person!!! stop the feeling of being a stranger in your own land...the messenger of all the bitter experiences...you are a lie...only a lie...tells a voice to my heart. You are deceitful...deceitful you are...you lost your job...you have no money...your girlfriend got married and you got expelled from the dormitory. I receive a call asking me to go because my father is ill. What else can I think of besides a hanging rope?
Let them come and arrest me...I will then ask them whether I am living or is life running me around?
This motherland was never a motherland to me. I cannot even act as a dog in this "great land" where not even an inch of it belongs to me.
Mehdi Alahyari was arrested also. Out of all the kids, Mehdi was more like me. He is paying for those who are now having fun here and there.
A fake coin is fake on either side! believe me! if not for the last deception that tricked me into living, I would have left this life long ago. And the night would cry blood for me...
I am thinking: isn't it enough making mockery of myself? the kids at the dormitory tell me sarcastically: "yes a better life is possible...but not here...it's only possible after our applications for political asylum gets accepted in Sweden"!!!!!!
I am the last arrow in the bow of the legendary Arash...release me and wherever I land...that's where the borders of Iran will be...
Iran...my Iran...the winds...the trapped waters of Iran...the naval ships of immigrants. A stranded Iran...
Now the main question on everyone's mind is this: why have the leftists of Iran have opted to exile themselves voluntarily? It's as if from the beginning they were waiting for the day that they could flee the country. But for the new generation of leftists in Iran none this was important. For instance the biggest threat against them was a few years in jail. The situation was such that unlike Bolsheviks they did not have the opportunity to fight anyone outside the country. The common point is that they all live in an extremely hostile environment up to a point where their lives were in danger, not just a few years in prison.
For example the foreign based communists after 1905 and even after 1952 coup, would only leave the country where their lives where in danger. There were always those fighters who were fighting outside the country because they had to..starting from Soviet communists to Iranian ones...the school of law was the hotbed for discussions. I could not stop myself from going there and asking them why they all shut up after Ehsan (Tabari), lead of Iran's communist party was executed in early 1980s. I was not feeling well but I still managed to go there. I am asking all the comrades: why did you leave? did you leave to go fight? or did you fight so you could leave? I want everyone one of our comrades to respond in an honest way. The dormitory and the self deceiving characters. Deprivation of sex and instead it's full of narcotics...damn this dormitory...damn this fake life!
Oh the word "Mother"...what an endearing term...you ask if I am back...yes...but I ask why you left...or rather why you returned so late!
Friday afternoon is the day I go mad...when we were kids, on Friday afternoon we were faced with the horror of our homeworks which weren't done and now Friday afternoons remind us about the emptiness of life. It's not surprising that in a Friday afternoon everyone is waiting for a savior. Maybe the savior will arrive this Friday...I am sure that after seven miserable days, on the seventh day, exactly on the peak of misery, a savior will arrive...and that's love.
Posted via email from lissping
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