In Loving Memory: Hoda Saber, Evin Cellmate - By Saeed Pourheydar

Posted on Saeed Pourheydar's Facebook on June 12th, 2011 - 8:30pm Tehran Time

 

Tears continue to roll down my face. I'm not sure what to write. Hoda has also left us; a man whom I adored and loved; a love and admiration I had never experienced until I met him. Hoda Saber and I were cellmates in room 3 at Evin's ward 350. He was the epitome of dignity and humanity.

 

Saeed Matinpour, Hoda and I used to cook together for our cellmates.  Every night we would walk up and down the corridor and chat for half an hour. We spoke of the Green movement and it's future, we spoke of the National Religious Alliance* [Meli-Mazhabi political group], we spoke of the history of resistance in Iran and of Ezzatollah Sahabi **.

 

I knew that Hoda would not be able to endure the departure of Ezzatollah and Haleh. The news of his hunger strike along with that of Amir Khosro worried me greatly.  Because I am familiar with his physical condition, the news and the indifference of the prison officials and those responsible for the infirmary, even further increased my concerns. I completely understood his dire predicament.

 

I recall once when his blood pressure fell so badly that he fainted and we carried him to the infirmary. Half an hour later instead of transferring him to a hospital they returned him back to the ward in the same poor physical condition. They gave him some sugar water and an IV injection and as far as they were concerned, he had been cured. He was a little pale but he remained as steadfast and strong as ever.  I used to trade my tangerines with his apples. He always said that the sweet tangerines were good for him....

 

When I heard of the passing of Ezzatallah Sahabi I asked God to make sure Hoda was spared the news. I even wished that he would perhaps be taken to solitary confinement on that day, because I knew he would not be able to endure it. Though Hoda was not strong enough to withstand a hunger strike, I knew that he would launch one in protest to Haleh's death. I knew that he would continue to the bitter end... and he did....

 

I am incapable of writing... I am overwhelmed with tears - my body engulfed with an utter sense of sorrow and anger... 

 

*Translator's note: National Religious Alliance (NRA) is a loosely knit group of activists who favor political reform and who advocate the implementation of constitutional provisions to uphold the rule of law. The grouping, which has no formal structure, came together to contest the parliamentary elections of 2000.

 

**The late Ezzatollah Sahabi, Iranian scholar, humanitarian, democracy activist, politician, former parliament member and leader of the National Religious Alliance died on May 31st, 2011. His daughter Haleh Sahabi, a humanitarian and democracy activist died of cardiac arrest on June 1st at her father's funeral after being attacked by plain clothes thugs disrupting the funeral procession.

 

********************

 

Posted on June 12th, 2011 - 9:30pm Tehran Time

 

My dear Hoda were you in pain? Were you moaning until dawn with chest pain without anyone coming to your aide?  Hoda, do you remember that time when I had chest pain and you put a pill under my tongue in the middle of the night?  Where was I Hoda to cure your aching heart?  I wish you had known that the pills were still under the bed, where you had last given them to me.... GOD can you hear me???????!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Source: Saeed Pourheydar's Facebook http://www.facebook.com/saeed.pourheydar?sk=wall

 

******************

 

 

بمیرم هدی جان نازنین درد داشتی ، تا صبح ناله می کردی از درد قلبت اما کسی یاری ات نکرد ..... هدی قلبم درد گرفته بود یادت هست نیمه شب قرص گذاشتی زیر زبانم ... بمیرم که نبودم قلب نازنینت را یاری دهم ..... کاش می دانستی قرصهایم زیر تخت جا مانده بود ، همانها که خودت دادی بهم .... خدایاااااااااااا :(((((

 

اشک امانم نمی دهد بنویسم ، نمیدانم اصلا چه بنویسم ، هدی هم رفت . مردی که شیفته اش بودم ، عاشقش بودم . عشق واقعی که تا آن روز تجربه نکرده بودم ... در اتاق سه بند 350 هم اتاق بودیم ، او کوه شرافت بود و مردانگی ...

 

من ، سعید متین پور و هدی صابر آشپزی می کردیم برای اتاق ، هرشب نیم ساعت در راهرو بند قدم می زدیم باهم و صحبت می کردیم . از جن...بش و آینده آن ، از ملی مذهبی ها ، تاریخ مبارزات مردم ایران ، از عزت الله سحابی می گفت برایم .

 

می دانستم صبر صابر از دوری عزت و هاله سحابی لبریز می شود . خبر اعتصاب غذایش به همراه امیر خسرو را که شنیدم خیلی نگران شدم . از اوضاع و احوال جسمی اش مطلع بودم و نگرانی ام دو چندان می شد وقتی از بی تفاوتی مسئولین و بهداری زندان نسبت به حال و روزش کاملا آگاه بودم .

 

یک بار از افت شدید فشار خون از هوش رفت و با برانکارد بردیمش بهداری ، نیم ساعت طول نکشید بجای انتقالش به بیمارستان با همان حال برگشت به بند ، یعنی گفتند برش گردانید به بند . با آب قند و یک سرم به خیال خودشان درمانش کردند . رنگش پریده بود هدی اما همچون کوه استوار بود . نارنگی هایم را با سیب هایش عوض کردم ، می گفت نارنگی شیرین برایش خوب است ....

 

خبر فوت عزت الله سحابی را که شنیدم از خدا خواستم که هدی این خبر را نشنود ، حتی آرزو کردم ای کاش همان روز هدی صابر را به انفرادی ببرند تا نشنود خبر را که میدانستم طاقت نخواهد آورد ، شک نداشتم اعتصاب غذا می کند و تا آخر هم می رود و رفت تا آخرش ....

 

نمیتونم بنویسم .... اشک ، غم و عصبانیت سراسر وجودم را فرا گرفته :(

via BanouyeSabz on facebook.com

Posted via email from lissping